First published on HuffPost as "The Issue Behind the Issue" by Laura Thompson, December 2, 2017
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| Photo by Ethan Weil |
The “issue
behind the issue” is breaking the habit of being yourself (Dr. Joe Dispenza),
discovering your “who” (inner mastery) to create high impact in your external
environment. It takes time and commitment to change our thoughts, emotions, and
behaviors. It takes courage to surrender to the unknown and let go of the need
to be in control of one’s environment. It takes practice and experiences to
reorganize the neural pathways in our brains to be in alignment with the
idealized self, i.e., proven by the science called neuroplasticity.
It's normal
to think “in the box” because we’re attached to our conditions in life,
neuro-chemically and psychologically. It’s time to be aware and witness these
conditions and begin the process to think “outside of the box”. Allow yourself
to be vulnerable, open, and dream of that greater you and step into it, step by
step, like Gandhi, Churchill, and Mother Teresa have done. They had a vision
and kept going regardless of the many roadblocks and curve balls thrown at
them. Dreams can be achieved when your inner and external environment no longer
hold you back.
Practice
breaks the habit of being your old self and opens you up to positive change
towards becoming the new you, unfolding that new chapter in your life. Although
it’s helpful to understand your past and heal your stories, it’s time to rewire
and transform your brain into a new map of your desired future. The future you
that you want to become—to achieve inner mastery for high outer impact which is
in essence the meaning of getting to the “issue behind the issue”.
One of my
roadblocks was not wanting to be in the spotlight, center stage, the center of
attention. The “issue behind the issue” links psychologically to a childhood
story—better to be seen and not heard, keep quiet, remain behind the scenes.
I’m sure many of us grew up in households whereby our parents meant well as
they wanted us all to behave well. The “issue behind the issue” is like peeling
off the layers of an onion. That was the first layer.
The second
layer related to my Mother’s competitive nature with me while growing up. My
teenage story concerned me not shining or expressing my voice because when I did,
my Mother would withhold her love for me because she had to be the center of
attention. After years of psychotherapy, self-help, and coaching, I have
uncovered this story and have healed it. Most everyone thinks my Mother is a
nice lady and she did the best with what she knew on how to raise children. I
honor my Mother’s presence in this world.
Digging
deeper, the third layer is fear of authentically expressing my voice because of
being hurt by criticism and judgement by others but this can be rectified with
my new story to not take things personally. At a Hay House Writer’s Workshop in
Bristol, England, CEO Reid Tracy, mentioned that there will always be people
who criticize you and they’re in the minority. Most people give good reviews.
The message is to focus on the positive and discern what is considered
constructive criticism and take it into account.
Personally
and professionally, there may be more layers to uncover but I’m ready to enter
the new chapter of my life with a stronger voice.
That was the
threshold I crossed at Dr. David Drake’s three-day retreat “Crossing Your Next
Threshold” in New York City that I co-organized as Team Leader as well as having
facilitated one group session. Through experiential learning, my brain became
rewired to accept being in the spotlight with authentic self-expression. As a
coach, trainer, facilitator, leader, and writer, one has to be center stage for
awhile until it’s time to co-lead or co-create with others. Hence, I shall
continue practicing leading self, leading others, and leading communities with
authenticity, humility, nonjudgment, loving kindness, mindfulness, and
compassion learned from my chosen role models. After all, life is an
interactive journey.
Now, I’m
exploring my new map of my desired present and future, although most of it
remains unknown. I’ve taken the leap with faith and trust.
What’s your
“issue behind the issue”?
